Happy Mothers' Day
Happy Mothers' Day to all mums out there especially to my mum.
Thank you for all the hardship and sacrifices in bringing us up.
The following is the last thing any Terengganu mums will want to find out. The Star
State Religious Department commissioner Datuk Shaikh Harun Ismail said that in Terengganu, polygamous man could solemnise the marriage without informing his wife or wives.
State Islam Hadhari and Welfare committee chairman Abdullah Che Muda said the men were subjected to certain rulings of the Religious Department, such as being mentally and financially stable, has in-depth knowledge of the religion and able to render fair treatment to all wives.
Now, how do we judge whether one is able to render fair treatment to all wives, especially when the wives need not be informed about the decisions?
This new ruling must have excited many gatal men in Terengganu.
Update:
This post is meant to highlight the plight of some Muslim women, in support of some Muslim women's movement to prevent the abuse of Islam in conjunction with Mothers' Day. You can find similar opinions raised by some Muslim women bloggers out there.
Rules on having four wives.
Men are prohibited from cheating on their wives, meaning a man can't marry another woman without the knowledge of his wife. He should tell her, for she might refuse such situation, and in this case it's totally her right if she asked for divorce.
Polygamy is not a rule or an order but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.
8 comments:
go easy with the comments, mate... in Islam men do not actually need to ask permission from wives to remarry, as long as they meet other (in some people's views more subjective) criteria... now i dont want to start a debate here.. but just be careful about what you say about other religions and races
Dear Ozzy,
This post is not mean to ridicule Islam. It is meant to highlight plight of some women due to abuse of Islam, which is constantly highlighted by some Muslim women movements in Malaysia.
The sole objective of this post is to defend women in conjunction with Mothers' Day.
I have done my homework before posting, especially in sensitive issues like religion.
According to most Islamic source I found on the Internet:-
"Men are prohibited from cheating on their wives, meaning a man can't marry another woman without the knowledge of his wife. He should tell her, for she might refuse such situation, and in this case it's totally her right if she asked for divorce.
Hence, Islam does allow having more than one wife, yet it has set conditions for that, which is that the husband should be fair with all his wives, and treat them equally, which is very difficult.
Multiple marriages lay a heavy responsibility on men, which is why Allah allowed having more than one wife only if the husband treats his wives equally. If a man has more than one wife, he must treat them all in an equal manner, emotionally and financially. For example, he has to provide separate living accommodation for each of his wives.
Since it is very difficult to be just with all wives, in practice, most of the Muslim men do not have more than one wife. "
My point is the way Islam is abused by some men for personal satisfaction, which is equally opposed by many female Muslims in Malaysia. There is plenty of such arguments on the Internet and newspapers.
In my opinion Islam is a just religion like what I have said in my previous post. Unfortunately like all other religions, men have always abused religions for personal gains.
it's a debatable rule by the Tganu's Religious Dept.
whilst i still remember being furious about a cabinet decision about a yr ago to set a rule that a wife cannot question justice of a poligamious husband, I still do not mind with the idea of poligamy.
I agree that some ppl misuse Islam for their own needs as pointed out by Jih Ying, but this problem lies in the heart of these ppl, not the religion itself.
Who said one cannot be just and fair towards her wives? I've seen with my own eyes, there are great leaders and managers at homes who dont find poligamy as difficult as suggested by schoolmate Jih Ying. The second and first wife in fact live together under one roof, along with their kids. Second example; this guy has 4 wives of different ethnics and religious backgrounds. (obviously not each and everyone of them). And they even came out in the local newspapers to prove this story. Clearly, poligamy is not that hard.
I just want to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with religions. It's the people who misinterpret the holy books and misuse it for their own interests, like Osama bin Laden, obviously a terrorist that uses the words of Islam, which I find very2 annoying.
refering the word gatal, I think men are gatal. Do you ever question why there are more female prostitutes than male? and why the international models are mostly women? and why sex sells through females better than men? And why men love to watch porn more than women?
Because men are mostly gatal. I dunno if it's biologically proven but i think it is. So the word 'gatal' is more appropriately refering to most men. Not just muslim men. This is a general statement.
So how do we cope with gatal men?
Poligamy or prostitutions?
Which is better? and healthier? and more morally accepted?
For this argument, I still believe there's nothing wrong with poligamy. and as suggested by Jih Ying, ppl misuse this rule made by Allah S.W.T.
And as for the Tganu new rule, from my understanding, it's debatable. I may not be an Al-Azhar scholar. You should inform your wife/wives if you wanted to marry another woman.
And again I must clarify, there is nothing wrong with poligamy as it is allowed by Islam. And a poligamious husband must be just towards the wives. Period.
Why? Because Allah says so. He is the Most Knowledgeable and Most Merciful.
And if one were an aethist, one should know that most men are gatal. And poligamy is a better solution than prostitution.
Pretty bold statement from a man huh? Well, I learn to live with the cruelty of facts.
jeg: Thank you for your comment. I agree with you that there are men who are able to be fair towards their wives. In fact I have heard of such rare cases. From my understanding of Islam the allowance of four wives is a responsibility not a right. Hence I fully respect Islam's stance on polygamy as long as the person who practises this is doing it with the right intention. Of course the objective can only be achieved if the wives' are informed and agree to the idea. Otherwise any resentment from the wives will be difficult to dealth with and the question of fairness to all wives will arise.
One of the reasons that I felt strongly against the abuse of such provision is that I have seen a few unfaithful men around me who had abused the provision for their lust and as a result being frowned upon by fellow Muslims. I really pity their first wives and children.
I have a Muslim neighbour from young which I grew up with. The Cikgu (deceased) was a very loving husband and father. I do not think I can label him as gatal as gatal to me means the man involved actually take active actions to be unfaithful to their wives.
Even though sexual instinct is second nature to men, the difference between a gatal man and one who is not is their ability to control their actions. From what I can see around me, most of the men around me regardless of religion are faithful to their wives, hence I won't categorise them as gatal. I also do not think that the proportion of men who visit prostitutes are significant. As for those who are gatal, I don't think it has anything to do with which religion they belong to. It is merely lack of self control and discipline.
Anyway enough said on all these. My only objective for posting this is to highlight women's sacrifices for their offspring and their rights should be protected and I believe all main religions in the world have good objectives and are just. Often it is men who go all the way to abuse the religion based on their selfish needs, such as, in my opinion, what Bush and Blair has done on Iraq.
It just happened that this news article appeared in the newspaper the day before Mothers' Day and I read about some reservations of such relaxation of rules on some blogs owned by Muslim women. All along I've read from blogs and newspapers on how many Muslim men had abused their 'right' to marry more than one wife.
u don hafta worry about what u wrote in this entry.
it's a fair comment. keep writing.
sorry to drag the issue.. just wanted to say two things..
1. In conjunction with the Mother's Day message, actually one the reasons behind polygamy is to help and protect single mothers who in some circumstances are not able to provide adequately for their children on their own. My initial comment was based on the original post before the update, which painted polygamy is Islam as a bad thing, and which is advatageous only to the "gatal" men.
2. As we are all aware with various other subject matter, the internet is not that very reliable a source of information. Certain info and comments can be biased, and in my opinion are certainly not sufficient for one to gather information to comment on or judge another person's religion. And I certainly will not preach about Buddhism to a Buddhist or about Judaism to a Jew just by reading a few articles and blogs on the net, to someone who has practised and studied his/her religion for all his/her life. I actually find a few things about other religions that I find highly absurd, but it is not my place to judge or comment, as it is their faith, and I respect them.
And there are certain "Muslim" women's groups in Malaysia that do not act in the true interests of Islam. These so-called "Muslim" groups have actually been involved in controversy in the past. My point is, just because they are Muslim, their thoughts do not necessarily represent Islam.
Ozzy,
I fully respect your opinion.
However, just like you said there are many interpretations of religions due to personal opinion, cultural influences, times in history etc.
No one has the right to say one is right or one is wrong. But healthy discussion should be allowed instead of suppressing the freedom of opinion.
Agree with you there are many things we might find absurd in religions, that's why it's called faith. I do read about various religion and I have no strong attachment nor bias towards any main religions in the world, similar to what I think in terms of race.
Yes, I support the idea of healthy discussion, when both sides of the argument are laid out. But not when only one side of the argument is written about. As a Muslim I am obliged to defend my faith and its rulings and laws, especially when this blog would be read by friends from non-Muslim countries who may not have any prior knowledge about Islam. They have the right to know the reasons behind certain rulings in Islam, and not just the bad consequences that may arise as a result of these rulings.
In Islam, right and wrong things are set out clearly in the Quran and Hadis (Prophet Muhammad's sayings). And any interpretation of Islam which contradicts them are totally wrong and blasphemous. There are no two ways about this. It is not something that can be practised differently just because you may have different opinions or cultural differences. And the teachings of Islam in its original form are relevant until the end of time.
Unlike you, I do indeed have a very strong attachment towards one religion - my own. And I take any criticisms towards it very personally.
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